One of the problems mothers have is adding themselves into the equation of family needs and demands. In putting children first much of the time, rather than putting ourselves second or even third, we put ourselves nowhere.

When we disallow our own needs, dreams, and desires for too prolonged a period, we stop building self. We set up an all or nothing situation. Our dreams, needs, and desires get relegated to our shadow side, where they grow in darkness. They leak out. We feed them surreptitiously through others. Rather than understanding our needs and desires and meeting them constructively and openly, we repress and deny them. Then, when they finally burst forward, they are like a hungry beast who cannot feel full.

While child rearing does ask us to sacrifice, and rightly so, we still need to attend to ourselves. If we don't, we run the risk of trying to fill up our empty self on the self of another.